Mood:
a-okTopic: Cats, Catz and Kats
And now: And old favourite from long. long ago. This blog entry is originally from March 2003, and repeated because I had to reconfigure some website settings and I don't have time to write anything original or imaginative.
My cat, Trixie, is very health conscious. She maybe be large, she may have a droopy belly, but she does like to be fit. How else will she be able to chase all those little mousies? Her favourite method of keeping fit is circuit training. Many cats enjoy circuit training. But circuit training for cats is different than circuit training for humans; as we shall now see.
Circuit Training for Cats
Find a good circuit
A good circuit should be mostly round, and offer a good variety of terrains, such as table surfaces, chairs and sofas, homework books, newspapers and of course; laps of people.
Warm-up
Begin with the nose. The nose must be in perfect working order, able to detect the scent of pizza embedded in the rug from three weeks ago. Get the muscles in the right sequence, up and down, up and down, and inhale deeply on the up motion. Everything on the circuit must be sniffed out thoroughly so you want the nose working perfectly. Next, warm up the tail. It should be held high and stiff. This is an especially useful exercise for when standing in front of the television. More surface area can be blocked. Finally, warm up the legs. You start at a slow trot, then work up to a frenzied dash.
Begin the circuit.
Trot around room. Hop on end table, knocking over coffee cup. Trot across chair and drop cat hair on book in person's lap. Move to floor again and give table leg a thorough sniff down. Rub face against leg to add personal scent. Hop on coffee table and scatter as many papers as possible. Hop to couch and stick tail into face of nearest human. If human responds stick back side into human's face. You just used your litter box and it's important that the human knows by smell that the food you are getting is digesting properly. Act huffy if human doesn't sniff. Sink your teeth into the huffy act. Literally. Leave when backside is swatted. Trot into a different room. Trot back into same room as humans. Repeat order.
Add Intensity.
Add intensity to workout by placing face in the center of human's attention. This will cause humans to chase you as you go through your circuit again. If there are small humans at a table with books in front of them this is usually called homework. Homeworking humans love when adorable cats come up and lay on their papers. They feel the love you are sending them. Homework papers are softer to lay on that any other surface known to cats. They might be softer and more comfortable than newspaper. After a fraction of a second on the homework you will soon reach your optimum heart rate as your human chases you with increased anger.
Cool down
A proper cool down is important. Usually a cat will find him/herself cooling down in the back porch or outside in the rain until the humans have forgiven you for messing up homework, spilling coffee, and scent spraying all surfaces that haven't been sprayed in the past half hour. Big eyes are essential for the cool down, so stretch out you pupils as much as you can. Once human see the stretched pupils, they will let you back in. Cat science still doesn't understand the effect of stretched eye pupils on humans...but they're working on a theory.
And now for a fun and cheerful Christmas picture:
