I have been hard at work on my Olympic sized ass, and so far all my hard work seems to be paying off. Next week I will begin work on getting rid of the five ring sized butt cheeks and paring them down to a more manageable two ring size, and hopefully a one ring size for summer.
So lets get to what's important: ice dance costumes. I have a copy of costumes rules from the International Skating Union, from when Dan skated. They aren't difficult to understand. The rules for costumes are very simply worded and quite explicit. No custume can suggest nudity. Costumes must be modest and suitable for athletics. Costumes may not be overly garish and excessively theatrical. Men must wear pants, no ballet tights and no bulging packages. Women are allowed to wear pants, provided they are appropriate, suitable for athletics and in good taste. Costumes must not be offensive and they must be in good taste.
Ignoring the whole "cultural insensitivity" thing...this is probably the single most tasteless costume I have ever seen. It beats out the flesh colored body stocking with a crucifix on the front and the arms covering the boobs from many years back. Where to begin...how about the obvious flesh coloured body stocking to suggest nudity...the loin cloths... the leaves that make them look like Baloo the Bear from the jungle book...to be fair, they changed a few things from the Europeans. They are no longer wearing dark brown body stockings, they are no longer wearing face paint or feathers, they have toned down the white fabric/body paint... Nevertheless, nothing changes the fact that this is utterlay tasteless.
They didn't do much better for final dance, she wore pinky-flesh colours again and had a face painted over one boob, with a pair of lips right on the nipple, making it look for all the world like she had an exposed niple. Can't find a picture! Russia was keeping it classy! The guy also used belts and straps on her costume for lifts and spins, which is illegal. Expect to see that written into the rules next year.
Bollywood rules! This is the American couple of Davis and White. These look so authentic, I wouldn't be surprised if they came from india and were altered so they could be skated in. They captured the essence of Bollywood in all it's brilliant colours. But all the fancy costumes in the world can't hide poor skating. Dan's coaches told me that at every competition there's always some poor kid in a thousand sequins who can barely skate and ends up flat on her ass and someone in a home made outfit who skates better than everyone else. They said better to be the one in the simple costume and let your skating do the talking.
When you have the moves you don't need the distracting crap. This is Virtue and Moir of Canada. A simple lace top and satin skirt, and he's in a basic skating outfit for guys with some subtle sparkle. All of their costumes were subtle and added to their performance.
There final dance was utterly pure grace, dignity, skill, softness and strength; never once looking clunky herky jerky or awkward; and the costumes reflected this purity. They were smooth as freshly zamboni'ed ice and they glided flawlessly from beginning to end.
Virtue and Moir used to skate at the KW club. I remember them taking many of their dance tests while Dan did his freeskate tests. One of the oldhome movies shown on CTV shoes them doing a test at Rink in The Park. Man...I spent a lot of time there! I met the Gamut of skating parents, from nice people who had a kid with a talent and wanted to support the kid, to absolute screaming raging monsters. Some parents would scream at their kids from the side of the ice. The coaches hated that. In recrational skating there was always one family skate, and the coaches gave the parents a little lesson while the kids stood on the side lines. I siad thay should do that for test and competitive level skating, and have the kids treat the parents they way they treat their kids. All the coaches loved it, and they said they would encourage the kids to scream at their parents.
Competitions were surreal experiences. Some of the parents were more inot the whole experience than the kids, the mams in their "skating mother fur coats" (that's what we called them) dragging along their reluctant "ice babies" (very young girls in expensive costumes with lots of glitter) as they paraded through the halls and corridors of the arena, doing nthing more than showing off. I have never been anti fur, except and competitions where I would hand out peta brochures an how fur is murder. Some of the other parents went right along with me, one going as far as carrying a small can of spray paint in her purse. Since these women wore these coats to intimidate others, we had no qualms about leveling our own form of intimidation.
The guys were all friendly before competing, they would hang out and watch the others...until it was time for skating, then they took all the competitive urges out on the ice. Girls on the other hand...they were mean rotten vicious little demons. They warned girls not to leave their skates untended because some girls would take screwdrivers to the blade mountings and loosen them. Some would laugh at costumes, some would laugh at routines, they were absolute bitches to each other. I felt sorry for some of the skaters.
The local club tended to stick together at out of town competitions. We supported each other, especially if someone was having trouble with mean girls. Whenever Dan skated all the girls would squeal and applaud like he was Justin Beiber on ice. Many of the girls had a crush on him at one time or another. I remember being in the lobby and one girl running from the arena and shouting "DANNY"S SKATING! EVERYBODY COME SEE!" and hearing a lot of squealing.
Back to the other end of the skating rainbow...the Olympics: Overall, I can see I'm not the only one who has fallen in love with hot fix crystals. I think there must have been millions of them used for the olymipcs, and that hasn't included the women's even yet. Some skater is supposed to be wearing a 20,000$ costume. Think she'll be flat on her butt?
In other news: we got hit with our first real snowstorm of the year. It's been a very easy winter, weather wise. the last couple weeks have been a bit of a drag with the wall to wall grey skies, but it hasn't been excessively cold. And our big storm was a mere 15-20 cm, which isn't all that bad. I'm beginning to think of planning my garden and what seeds I need to start and when to start them. My Dad's bonsai collection has it's new home here, so I have to incorporate that into my plans. I might also be getting some of the neighbour's bonsai tress, so Dad can groom them and ready them for sale. It's almost the end of February, we have more winter behind us than in front of us.
Later!
