My Sure-Fire Never-Fail Unpsychic Predictions for the Coming Year
Topic: blast from the past!
Now that it's the new year it's time for a Litterbox Favorite! My bold predictions of what will happen in the New Year! When it comes to predicting the future I am bold! I am fearless I am unpredictable ~no~ wait. I am totally predictable!!!! So here we are, freshly copied and pasted from the original entry in 2005, 2006, 2009, and every year since then:
...I will however, make a series of bold predictions about the new year. I am not a psychic. I have no paranormal powers. I do not use tarot cards, I don't gaze into crystals, nor do I channel anything. Yet I feel that my unpsychic predictions will be stunningly accurate, in a way heretofore not seen from those other psychics. They make bold predictions, yet they never answer to their 99.9% inaccuracy rate. I have no doubts about the accuracy of my unpsychic predictions. They stand up to scrutiny year after year. See, I have written out this list privately for for my own amusement for many years, and every December 31, when I bring it to see if I was right, I am stunned once again by its incredible accuracy. So this year, at the urging of my hubby, I am sharing my never-fail unpsychic predictions.
A long forgotten star of an old sitcom will see a revival of his/her career, along with a revival of the old sitcom.
A long forgotten star will attempt an unsuccessful comeback
A top name celebrity will reveal a long hidden addiction.
A young twenty something female will break on the scene, and be declared the next big thing. She will party all night and try her talents at singing, dancing and acting and be found sadly lacking in all three.
Long forgotten nude photos of aforementioned star will suddenly be made public.
A celebrity couple, long married, considered stable,will suddenly and without warning, break up.
A celebrity couple will marry after a whirlwind romance. They will divorce soon after.
A celebrity will make a fool of him/herself on national television.
A highly hyped, heavily promoted all-star Hollywood summer blockbuster movie will bomb at the box office.
A low budget no-star independently made and released film will become a surprise hit raking in ton of money.
A big name music star will release a long awaited follow up album that will top the billboard chart in its first week, then sink to number 500 in the second week.
A new artist with a different sound and little record company promotion will release the hit of the year.
A long forgotten star from the past will release a come-back album that becomes a surprise hit.
A long forgotten artist from the past will release a new album that no-one will buy.
A fad novelty song will become the pop radio hit of the summer.
None of the new shows in September will live up to the network's summer hype.
A surprise guest director will direct an episode of a cult-favourite show.
There will be a new sit-com about twenty-somethings singles looking for romance.
There will be a new and shocking realty show with a twist.
There will be a drama about a tormented person escaping their past and thrown into an implausible situation, which forms the premise of the show.
In a bid to out-scoop each other, the cable news channels will make serious mistakes in a major news story.
A number one first round draft pick will fail to live up to expectations.
A college basketball team will come from nowhere and end up ranked fourth in their division in the NCAA march madness tournament.
Last year's champion will go from first to worst in one year
Last year's worst team will be a surprise division leader
A star player from last season will demand too much money and sit out the season in protest.
A star player who sat out the previous season holding out for more money will sign with a new team and take a major pay cut for a chance "To prove myself to the fans."
After toiling for several years in the minors, second string, from the bench, a low round draft pick will be given a chance and become the league's most valuable player.
A team comprised of big name big money free agent signings will not find the needed chemistry to win games.
A former superstar on a champion team will write a shocking tell all book that becomes a best seller.
Don Cherry will whine about something.
And, with this being an Olympic year a pair of Olympic predictions: There will be a controversy over scoring in an Olympic event.
A Big Name Olympic athlete will fail a drug test. A year later the athlete will appear in the 7th season of "The surreal life" even if they only speak Latvian
A natural disaster of epic proportions will strike a developing third world nation, sending all its progress back 25 years.
An area that hasn't seen flooding in fifty years will be hit with devastating floods
A minor skirmish between countries/factions/ethnic groups that have never had troubles before will lay the groundwork for escalating tensions which will lead to war in less than ten years.
Previous story will appear buried in the third section on the fourth page of most major newspapers, where no one will see it.
There will be weird weather which may or may not be the ultimate proof of global climate change.
Records for cold weather will be broken.
Records for how weather will be broken.
Records for rain will be broken.
Records for drought will be broken.
Farmers will complain there is too much rain.
Farmers will complain there is too little rain.
A major scientific breakthrough that could lead to a cure for a major disease will be mostly unreported as news editors won't understand what the scientists are trying to say.
A blog will report a news story the the regular news media won't touch
A political scandal will rock a major nation.
A politician will find himself in a controversy over his/her love life.
A politician will retire amid growing controversy.
A major political figure will anger many people with comments made during a speech.
I'm sure you get the picture now! The majority of these predictions will come true this year, as they have stood the test of time and have come true almost every previous year.
And that's my sure-fire never-fail unpsychic predictions, freshly dug from the Litterbox!
Posted by lincatz
at 11:16 AM EST